Golden Girls on Marriage Equality: “Everyone wants someone to grow old with”

Golden Girls on Marriage Equality

Here’s a clip of the Golden Girls on Marriage Equality. Sophia helps Blanche understand the importance of marriage equality and why it is an issue of love.

“Everyone wants someone to grow old with, shouldn’t everyone have that chance?”

What do you do to release stress? I do dishes.

What do you do to release stress? I do dishes.

I like to do my dishes. I don’t mean stacking them in my dishwasher and waiting for two hours of incessant humming and voila! No, I like spending some time doing my dishes, and especially when I need to release stress. Mark is amused with how much I enjoy it. He doesn’t understand why I choose to do something that a “robot” has been created to do. Believe me, I am by no means someone that chooses to do things without the use of technology. I love technology and how so many things are made so much easier because of it. Dishes. It’s just my outlet, I find doing them therapeutic. And I find it funny that so many people are shocked by my confession.

Let me tell you what’s my fabulous mundane process. It is very simple actually, but it starts some time before the tower of dishes tumbles out of control over my kitchen sink. My father taught me that whenever I’m done with a plate I should at least remove the excess food I left(not a lot in most of my plates) and if I am not gonna wash it right away to at least rinse it. Then, when I am ready to go full-on kitchen maid, my job is easier and I can emerge as the triumphant king of my kitchen. My Dad obviously didn’t make it so dramatic but I like to add some flair. Mark told me today that I’m “110% flair”. I’m still trying to determine if thats a compliment or an insult. Maybe its a little bit of both. Ok, back to the dishes.

Get some good music going. Today I chose a Spotify radio station based on Marked by EMA and it just helped set the right mood. Sometimes I just choose some great Spanish music by some Puerto Rican singers and well, the atmosphere is completely different. That’s when I do my dishes to party. In Puerto Rico we never had a dishwasher, maybe that’s where it all started. Some incense also helps in setting the mood, which reminds me that Dad also liked to have incense burning at our home, during the college years I lived with him. I like to get some good detergent, the hot water running and just chill, get my mind off things. Or after a full day of doing what I exhaustingly love doing, talking about Pop Culture news, I take some time to refocus on life, the present and the future. Doing the dishes for me goes beyond dishes, I end up trying to make my kitchen shine. Which reminds me, I am writing about doing the dishes when my kitchen is half-way through. Mark is out with his mom and bringing back Indian food, I need to get this place in order.

What do you do to relax? What’s your outlet to release stress?

Must listen: Adam Lambert’s gay anthem ‘Outlaws of Love’

Adam Lambert's gay anthem "Outlaws of Love"

Many artists have songs that people classify as “gay” anthems. Most of these artists are not gay but due to different aspects on the record it becomes an anthem for the gay community. Outlaws of Love is Adam Lambert’s gay anthem and it brings to the forefront the pain that many in the gay community experience daily. The pain of having experienced rejection for something that he did not choose. The pain of not being treated equal in something so essential as loving another human being. Lambert, the first openly gay artist to have his album debut at number one on Billboard, with his album Trespassing, sings a song that is echoed in the hearts of many gay men who live their lives longing for equality but not letting the absence of it determine their role in society. Yes, there is pain in the song but also a quality of strength and perseverance, pride in knowing that while others may not see us as equal, we are the same, we have just been privileged with a more accepting an open-minded view of the world. Thankfully, society is catching on.

While the song is not dancey, like many others in his album, it is a song with a strong message, one that, again, many can identify with. Does that make it an anthem? Most assuredly.

Other great songs on Trespassing are: Shady(featuring Sam Sparro and Nile Rodgers), Kickin’ in, and Running.

Read the lyrics after the jump… Continue reading Must listen: Adam Lambert’s gay anthem ‘Outlaws of Love’

Stay positive when hate knocks on your door

Stay positive when hate knocks on your door
I’ve always tried to stay positive no matter what comes at me. My dad always said that I wake up in the mornings with the biggest smile on my face. As years pass by I have remained a pretty positive person. When bad things happen I usually try to see something good that will come off it, and I try to move on. When I hear people talking about really “hating” someone because something they did or say I feel relieved that I don’t feel like that towards anybody. Even though the word hate is not one I use all the time, I have used it for some things I really dislike, but that’s not my norm. I try to not give space to any hate in my life.

This morning I had a dream that I was visiting someone from my past and well, it was not great. I woke up upset and realized that because of a dream, a tiny seed of discontent towards that person was trying to find a place in me. Yes, this person, with whom I was very close about 10 years ago basically cut all communication when rumors of me being gay started to spread. It was an interesting time when my calls were not answered, not that there were many. But there never has been an altercation that would make me hate that person, it was a dream, a passing thought trying to shake me from my place and make me feel something towards someone I have no interest in feeling.

Every moment of the day we will see things, hear things, think things that will try to shake our very foundation. We will see things done to us or others that will provoke hatred in our hearts, but we shouldn’t let our surroundings determine how we act or feel towards people. Some of these things will merit a strong negative action, but in most cases a negative reaction will just snowball into more negativity that will end up hurting you and whoever else stands in the way.

I’m still learning and I realize that many will not understand and will even try to come after me because I decided to live a happy life that happens to be seen as a bad thing for them.

You are the owner of your thoughts and life and only you can give permission for negative thoughts to work within you. Don’t do it. Be happy and enjoy your life. Hate is not worth it.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. – Oscar Wilde

Gay Christian: A daily test of tolerance, love and respect

gay christian

I am thankful that through the years I have developed somewhat of a tough skin. I am constantly put to the test because not only am I am homosexual, I also identify myself as a Christian. Many say this can’t happen,  but yes I’m a gay Christian.

I’ve been attracted to men in secret for as long as I can remember, publicly for just a couple of years. This means that most of the people in my past knew me as a “normal” guy and even if there were assumptions of me being a homosexual, I was a Christian, so of course I couldn’t be gay.

While things seem to be quickly changing on people’s understanding of homosexuals, there are still many who think that being gay is something people can choose and that by saying “I am gay” they are rejecting God. I don’t think like that because I can’t afford to think like that. Why? Simple, because many years ago I chose God and well, he has been good to me.

It is very easy to repeat something you have been taught without giving it a second thought. It is simple to state that loving another man is wrong, when you don’t care enough.

Day after day I see God-loving Christians, many who I know personally, expressing their thoughts on how evil and perverse homosexual relationships are. Some of them, I know as a fact, have never bothered to understand, because they were taught being gay is wrong so it must be condemned, criticized, talked about. Where is God’s love in that? Is this one of God’s new main topics?

Every day I have to decide. I have to choose love over hatred. Tolerance over disrespect. I have to choose to live standing strong on my beliefs and what I have experienced, while I respectfully try to disregard the misinformed opinions of others. There is hope. A close friend, who is a Christian, was ecstatic when I came out to him, because he now had a gay friend who could help him understand what being gay is like. We need more friends like that.

Tolerance, love and respect. We all need them.

Anti-gay remarks get Indiana teacher, probably Diana Medley, suspended


Does the name Diana Medley ring any bells? She is the special education teacher who supported some students that wanted a “traditional prom” without gays. Medley doesn’t believe anyone is born gay, she believes that people are gay because of “life circumstances and they choose to be that way; God created everyone equal”.

“‘So the same goes for gays? Do you think they have a purpose in life?’ No I honestly don’t. Sorry, but I don’t. I don’t understand it. A gay person isn’t going to come up and make some change unless it’s to realize that it was a choice and they’re choosing God,” said Medley.

Yeah, she’s sounds like a lovely gal. Sadly, this is the way that many, many Christians think now. That because I chose to be gay, I have, therefore, chosen to reject God.

Newsflash: I didn’t choose either of those things.

Anyway, there are reports that an Indiana teacher has been suspended for her anti-gay remarks and most signs point to this being Diana Medley.

The Indy Chanel reports:

Superintendent Mark Baker of the Northeast School Corp. in western Indiana’s Sullivan County issued a statement Wednesday saying the teacher has been placed on administrative leave and that state and local police are stationing officers at North Central Junior-Senior High School as a precaution because of “aggressive” email messages sent to the school and the teacher.

Baker did not identify the teacher, but special education teacher Diana Medley’s comments have circulated widely on social networking sites amid news coverage of an alternative prom dance at a nearby school that would ban gay students.

So, Diana, yes, I believe we are created equal. I tried long and hard to be attracted to women, it did not work. God? Well, yes, that I chose.

TV: Alyssa Edwards swiftly dances over the competition on RuPaul’s Drag Race


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Alyssa Edwards swiftly dances over the competition on RuPaul’s Drag Race

Gay: Man made rewiring of a predisposition?


Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ video for ‘Same Love’ is very touching, but the lyrics are even stronger. There are so many things people think about gays, without really seeking to understand or even giving the chance for someone’s story to be told.

These are some of my favorite lines from the song…

The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision. And you can be cured with some treatment and religion. Man made rewiring of a predisposition.

America the brave still fears what we don’t know. And god loves all his children, is somehow forgotten.

We become so numb to what we’re saying. A culture founded from oppression.

Whatever god you believe in. We come from the same one.

Tonight we celebrate Valentine’s cooking Dim sum and having fun

This is me and my boyfriend Mark at different, very happy stages of our relationship.
This is me and my boyfriend Mark at different, very happy stages of our relationship.

We have a fun night planned where we will be making dim sum and other Chinese deliciousness. It was Mark’s idea since he loves dim sum and lived in China for a while. Can you believe I’ve never had dim sum before I met him? I was missing out on more than I thought.

Earlier this week we went on a trek to find a Chinese Grocery store and it was quite the experience.

Hope you have a fantastic day, there’s no reason to not enjoy it, even if you are happily detached. Have fun!

How Marina & the Diamonds helped me through grief; plus a music Top 10


The last 6 months or so have been filled with change. The main one, which I mentioned in my previous post being the death of my Dad, followed by having started a relationship. I decided to take a look at what music I’ve been listening to the most for the last 6 months, thanks to Spotify and my account for keeping track of it. Looking at the artists on the lists I can quickly figure out what song I was listening to the most and what most of them meant during the time I was listening to it practically non-stop.

For example, the first artist on my list is Marina & The Diamonds and I can clearly remember how much I listened to the song ‘Fear and Loathing’ around my dad’s last days and after his passing. I got the chance to see Marina on her Dallas stop with my boy Mark and my friend Natalia. It was special to hear it live, it brought up a lot of memories, and tears. I can remember during my dad’s last week when I traveled to Puerto Rico, every morning I would drive down to the beach and listen to this song. Some of my favorite lyrics are: “And now the time is here, baby you don’t have to live your life in fear. And the sky is clear, is clear of fear.”
So,  here’s my top 10 and a quick bit about each artist…
  1. Marina & the Diamonds – Her new album Electra Heart came out last year and I am really not suprised it’s my number one.
  2. Lana Del Rey – I have listened to a lot of Lana del Rey since 2011, her Paradise ep has some amazing songs, like ‘Yayo’ and ‘God & Monsters’.
  3. Perfume Genius – I first listened to PG from Mark and quickly fell in love with ‘Hood’, you need to listen to it and watch the video(below).
  4. The xx – This is a case of being on a playlist and getting picked constantly. Most of these artists are on my Spotify playlist ‘Just Cause’ and The xx came up pretty often. Solid music.
  5. Scissor Sisters – ‘Let’s have a kiki’ and ‘Shady Love’ were in constant rotation for most of the year, another non-surprise.
  6. Empire of the Sun – This can be simply described as ‘Swordsfish Hotkiss Night’.
  7. Lady Gaga – It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Gaga is on the list, however it’s surprising she is not higher. It simply means we need new music, hurry up, ARTPOP.
  8. Emeli Sandé – For about two weeks this year I listened to ‘My Kind Of Love’, and ‘Daddy’ non-stop. This is proof.
  9. Phillip Phillips – I couldn’t stop listening to Phillip’s covers of ‘Disease’, ‘I want you bad’, etc. His album is pretty solid.
  10. Florence + the Machine – ‘No light, No light’ is the first song that comes to mind. Me and Natalia listened to Florence, a lot.

Marina & The Diamonds – Fear and Loathing

Do you have any songs that have helped you through hard times? What are the artists that you have listened to the most for the last six months?