I went to Church this week. I have to confess I haven’t been in a few months. I believe that it may be because I feel uncomfortable. Not because I’m gay but since I haven’t been in a while and it’s a different church since I moved to the area it just feels a little weird. I used to be all into Church, now I struggle. For some reason I struggle with a lot of the things I see there. I still love the idea of worshiping God among his people but I always find myself asking if some of the things I see are necessary.
Let me make something clear. I know that having connections with people that are antigay is a big no-no in the gay community. Just a while ago the guy from Toms Shoes got in trouble, mainly with the gays, for being part of a Focus on the Family event. I really don’t think about those things much, mainly because his vision is to help others. For his organization, he needs all the help he can get. From everyone.
I know how some of these “Christians” groups can be. I went to a prominent Bible School in Dallas. And believe me, being gay was not a good thing there. Let’s just say that Cindy Jacobs was a frequent speaker. If you have heard of her you get the point. I was in that school for a couple of years. Should I hate those people because of part of their “message”? I don’t think that will be the right response. I am by no means perfect, but I came from a place in my life where people where judged and condemned (for being gay), now that I’m finally out of that place and happy, should I move into a place where I can judge and condemn those that say being gay is wrong. I will not. A life based in judgment and condemnation will not allow me to experience the goodness that God has for me.
It saddens me that the gay community calls others out for being intolerant but we are highly intolerant to the views of others. I would not be surprised that many in the gay community will frown when they hear my background because of being so involved with some Christian ministries who are highly intolerant of gay people. It’s all good for me. Yes, that part of their message is damaging but I choose to not focus on that. Does this make me their biggest fan and applaud their efforts? Of course not.
The thing is that being openly gay has allowed me a freedom, happiness and nearness to God that I didn’t have before. Why should I choose to fight because others don’t believe what I believe. And yes, most of my closest friends are strong Christians and thankfully the way I live life as a gay man has allowed them to see something that they were not expecting. They were misinformed on what gay people are and I love when in our conversations they understand that they were wrong in judging all gays for the attitude of a few. Now, as a gay Christian I can only wish that this will also happen with the gays I know, that they will understand and not judge all Christians for the way a few act.
I really don’t know where the Church I visited today stands in the “Gay” topic. I really don’t care. I enjoyed being there with my brother, my best friend and his wife. I enjoyed the worship music and the message, and the church even had free coffee, so win-win-win.