It’s after midnight and after some reading I felt ready to sleep. Before dozing off I uttered a quick prayer: “God, help me be the best man I can be”. I know that many people would have different interpretations of this. Some may think that I want to be made straight and live a “normal” life. To me, it’s just knowing that I have a purpose. There is a plan set in motion for me even before I was born and I want to fulfill my mission, whatever it is.
I don’t want to be what others say that I should be. I don’t want to be numbered under those that don’t care for the well being of others. I want my life and the actions in it to count. I want love to be heavier and more violent than judgement or hate. I want others to encounter God the way I have. A way so strong that being gay has not tarnished it in the least. I want love to be my motivation. I don’t want the crazy life, I tried it and it just isn’t for me. I want meaning, I want to help others know that they are valued beyond measure and their pain has not gone unnoticed and there are people who care.
I want to be the best man I can be.