It happened again. I talked to a very close friend which didn’t know I was gay. She lives far and we mainly communicate on Facebook chat so since I haven’t seen her in person in a while I didn’t see the opportunity presenting itself. I’ve been wanting to tell her, mainly because I have come out to my closest friends. There was a little fear of telling her, it could have been because she’s a Christian withe beliefs I know too well, or maybe the fact that… I was her Youth pastor.
The few minutes before coming out to someone are always the same for me. A little bit of fear, a little bit of excitement, a lot of thoughts running through my head. What if she rejects me? What if this hinders the love we have for each other? What if this creates a barrier to our friendship? What will she say? What will I respond?
And there I went with my common line to my Christian friends. I love Jesus and I like guys. No response. The little green light on Facebook next to her name was still on. But nothing. Thirty seconds passed. A minute. My brain started racing to what could be happening… and then Boom!
Her response was literally this: OooooooMMMMMMMMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!
A smile, a sigh of relief, followed by a very nice conversation. It’s like I had told her I just bought her a new dress or as if I had complimented her hair. It usually goes like these: This is who I am, this is how I feel, she is happy for me, she loves me and then we talk about cute guys. Win-Win.
I really consider myself a very optimistic person but my mind plays tricks on me when I’m coming out to someone I care for. It has never been as bad as I thought, actually all of these stories have been great, well except for one. But I’ll write about that one later.
Have fun and remember most things that make us anxious or distraught never end up happening the horrible way our brain tricks us to believe they will.